In here Ron...Jokes and other one liners...
- Thread starter AirCon
- Start date
A couple in their 80s go to a sex therapist office, The therapist says what can I do for you? The  couple says will you watch us do it?? The therapist looked puzzled but agreed, The therapist says I didn’t see anything wrong with how you did it and charged them $50.00 And  said what exactly are you trying to figure out? The  man said she’s married and we can’t go to her house and I’m married and can’t go to mine, The Holiday Inn charges $120.00 & The  Hilton $150.00 We do it here for $50.00 & I get $43.00 back from  Medicare!! 
Quasimodo gets home from work to see Esmeralda getting the wok out of the cupboard.
"Great" says Quasi "are we having a Chinese tonight then?"
"No" says Esmeralda "I'm just going to iron your shirts"
"Great" says Quasi "are we having a Chinese tonight then?"
"No" says Esmeralda "I'm just going to iron your shirts"
443K views · 5.6K reactions | Wait For End #motivation #enjoy #good #smail #goodvibes #motivation #eduction #jock #funny #motivational #jokes | Brighton Jokes
Wait For End #motivation #enjoy #good #smail #goodvibes #motivation #eduction #jock #funny #motivational #jokes.
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A horse is in the pub having a few when he spots a donkey in the corner so he nips over to have a natter, donkey asks "what did you do for a living" horse says " I ran on the flat in the summer and over the jumps in the winter",
Donkey says "I worked with the kids on blackpool beach" , then he asks "did you win anything" horse says "yeah on the flat I won the Oaks, St. Leger and the Derby and over the jumps I won the Grand National and the Gold Cup”,
They arrange to meet at the donkey's house a week later, donkey thinks, "I need to impress this c*** he's done everything" , so he buys a big picture of a zebra and hangs it above the fireplace, the horse arrives and says "lovely place you have here and who's that in the picture on the wall", donkey replies
" that's me when I played for Juventus !
Donkey says "I worked with the kids on blackpool beach" , then he asks "did you win anything" horse says "yeah on the flat I won the Oaks, St. Leger and the Derby and over the jumps I won the Grand National and the Gold Cup”,
They arrange to meet at the donkey's house a week later, donkey thinks, "I need to impress this c*** he's done everything" , so he buys a big picture of a zebra and hangs it above the fireplace, the horse arrives and says "lovely place you have here and who's that in the picture on the wall", donkey replies
" that's me when I played for Juventus !
A car full of Irish nuns is sitting at a traffic light in downtown Dublin, when a bunch of rowdy drunks pull up alongside of them.
"Hey, show us yer tits, ya bloody penguins!" shouts one of the drunks.
Quite shocked, Mother Superior turns to Sister Mary Immaculata and says, "I don't think they know who we are; show them your cross Sister."
Sister Mary Immaculata rolls down her window and shouts, "Piss off, ya fookin' little wankers, before I come over there and rip yer fuckin balls off!"
Sister Mary Immaculata then rolls up her window, looks back at Mother Superior, quite innocently, and asks,
"Did that sound cross enough?
"Hey, show us yer tits, ya bloody penguins!" shouts one of the drunks.
Quite shocked, Mother Superior turns to Sister Mary Immaculata and says, "I don't think they know who we are; show them your cross Sister."
Sister Mary Immaculata rolls down her window and shouts, "Piss off, ya fookin' little wankers, before I come over there and rip yer fuckin balls off!"
Sister Mary Immaculata then rolls up her window, looks back at Mother Superior, quite innocently, and asks,
"Did that sound cross enough?