What the feck have you done today?

Mine is not so fancy (probably a bit cheaper too) - stupid fuck gets stuck all the time so I'm forever moving it and switching off and on - still, beats cutting the back grass, still have to fekkin strim 🙄
Just a bit of strimming to do now, 👍
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Barry thinks that electric lights are caused by ghosts. Please stop triggering him.
I thought it was the other way round: ghosts are caused by electric lights. Especially if you wet your finger and stick it in the socket.
Fact check: do they have electtic lights in Scotchland?
 
I thought it was the other way round: ghosts are caused by electric lights. Especially if you wet your finger and stick it in the socket.
Fact check: do they have electtic lights in Scotchland?
Not intentionally and not for long.

Some electrical items get picked up during raids but are soon discarded as, "Och, ya cannae eat tha shite".
 
We bought a new toy. It’s a beast. It’s already cut the grass 4x in the last 36hrs while I sat at the outside table drinking a can of beer and ‘supervising’.

It doesn’t need a pay rise. It doesn’t need time off. It doesn’t need constant cigarette, or coffee or toilet breaks. It doesn’t winge and complain about its working conditions. On top of all that it cuts the grass better than the ICE lawnmower and I did and far cheaper than the gardener charges.

Why we never got one before is beyond me.

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No one here in the UK needs any grass cutting this summer Paul 🤷🏻‍♂️😇, we just have yellow desert grass which doesn’t grow at all😎
 
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Took Elsie, our dog, and one 10 year old grandson to Uppermill today, where there are stepping stones across a shallow river, ideal for a dog to paddle around.

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An ice cream van was selling 99's for £3, so I bought one and the bloke gave me a free cone/scoop for our dog - that's a first !

An elderly couple began to make a fuss of the dog, as they used to have one (Staffy). We got talking, and they asked where I had parked?

I told them I have a Blue Badge, so very seldom fail to find somewhere free, and the woman said "What's wrong with you?"

"I have severe ED and have difficulty walking any distance"

They wandered off, and Elsie says to me "What's ED Ron ?"

"Erectile Dysfunction Elsie"

"Prick"
 
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